Melancholy. Inspiration.

Lately I’ve been suffering from a serious mental disease – lack of inspiration. And I don’t think there is some kind of cure – it is a cycle.

Plato talked about inspiration as a possession. Almost like we became possessed by a feeling, which impel us to do something? I don’t know. But apparently my inspiration left… maybe to possess and inspire others, maybe because it had to go or just because I can’t find it.

What I’ve been realizing is that there is a vicious cycle. Melancholy – Inspiration – Lack of Inspiration – Melancholy. Maybe the melancholy never leaves ourselves, or maybe the melancholy is the source of inspiration. Confusing? To many “maybes”?

Well, melancholy is the most artistic feeling. It does not leave us debilitated as may often be portrayed – on the contrary, it’s a pleasure of reflection and self-reflection, which makes it, somehow, actually productive – it leaves us inspired. It lies between genius and madness, as I once was told.

Ítalo Calvino said “melancholy is the sadness that becomes light”. It makes us question ‘ourselves, the world and and the relations that they are made of’. It’s good to be melancholic once in a while.

Believe it or not, I felt inspired by a excerpt about melancholy, as I was laying there. Thought I could share, and who knows, even spread the inspiration.

“… but it is a melancholy of my own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in a most humurous sadness.”  (W. Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act IV)

Wolves

Hello again, lovely blogosphere. Today I was going trough my “lyric’s notebook”, which is a really creative name for the notebook where I (try to) write some lyrics to songs I come up with when I’m paying around with my guitar, isn’t it? Well, most of the times when I try to write, I end up with loose verses instead of actual lyrics (maybe I should call it “The verse book”, it would be more accurate!)

Anyways, as I was going trough the verses I found some “pseudo-poems” that I wrote and I thought I could share them… don’t know if they’re any good, but I leave the judging to you Mr. Reader! So, today I’ll leave you with this one, it’s called Wolves.

The fear can make me twist and roll in my bed.

Letting my life skip ahead

But I’m done hanging on a thread, and worrying where it might led…

If I stop will he catch me? 

I’ll tell you, only if I let. But please remember what I once said:

“Beware of the wolf, he might catch you”

If you fall you wont remember what I once told.

Just stand tall and start running somewhere beyond this twisted world. 

                  

Power Of Possibilities

Hello lovely blogosphere! There has been a serious LONG time since I last wrote on this thing, but I’m feeling the need to start writing again… I hope you still wanna read what I have  to say, but even if you don’t I’ll keep posting ’cause I’m such a rebel! (that just made me think of that David Bowie song and now it won’t stop playing in my head… guess life does have some background music)

I have been absent because I was just to busy, (and because I also lost my soul to 9GAG a few months ago ahah)… but today I had a really good day and I wanted to spread the love. I’m not going to tell you my whole life’s history but today I felt the power of possibilities again. How?

Let’s ramble about some people I have been meeting in the last couple years. Although I know that they like and care about me, I feel like they don’t make “the effort” to really get to know me.  We talk a few times and they think they have me all figured out – when they haven’t. I guess they like the “idea of me”, the idea that they have created, instead of actually liking me. They may look in my eyes, but I’m not sure if they see me. And that bothers me. A lot. If I try, why don’t they? Maybe I’m the new curiosity, maybe I don’t let them actually see me or maybe I’m just too complex. I don’t know if it ever happened to you, but it doesn’t bring me closer to any of those people. Which is sad.

But then, some people appear to restore your faith in mankind. Someone that listens. Someone that takes the time to actually get to know you. Someone that wants to make you feel happy instead of using you for their happiness. Someone who sees you. Someone that makes you see the power of possibilities, without even knowing. Someone that can look you in the eye and wants to see your truly self. Which is wonderful. And no matter how many they are, one or one thousand, those are the people that count.

So today I show you my eyes. And if you look closely, I might even show you my true self.

Metaphor

I recently realized something. My whole life I’ve been working hard not to become a meaningless snob person. But at some point my hard work had tricked my mind. You see, when you have an idea of something you don’t want to become it’s because you don’t like it, and so far so good. The issue is that our feelings can get really distorted and we may start thinking that it’s okay to really hate on stuff we don’t like, because it’s technically wrong. Here’s an example: “I don’t like some bitchy snob girl. I probably have million reasons to, and I’m probably right because she’s evil. I don’t want to be snob like her. Along the way I start hating on her, but it’s okay with me because I’m the good one, she’s the one who’s wrong. But at that point, I’m already like her.” Get the point of the great teenage high school story? If we hate on people because we think they’re snob and we just don’t want to be like that, then we just became like them.

See that picture above the text? For me it is a metaphor. My most recent college project is to re-design a product. I have to see where the mistakes and problems are and make improvements from the inside out. Because what’s the point of getting a cute object if it can’t do the job it’s supposed to? That is a picture of an element that belongs to the object I’m re-designing. It’s basically just two blades in a ugly green plastic cylinder and I’m telling you, it does not get the job done at all!

The point of my philosophical story here is that… sometimes we have to re-design ourselves. See where our problems and mistakes are, and make changes so we can improve from the inside out. I try to do that. Of course I have a hell lot more to improve but I’m learning to be good for people I do not like or that represent everything I don’t want to be. I’m learning to love others as God has told us to do and I honestly feel so much better. I don’t have as much hate and bad stuff going on my mind so that’s an improvement!

It’s funny how you can turn ugly things in beautiful things just by changing your point of view. I thought the blades from the picture above were so ugly and poorly designed, but when I took some shots of it and played with editing, I ended up creating something that I think it’s beautiful. I just needed to change my point of view. 

So, that was just my way to see things. What’s yours? (And I may be in a “love” phase, but if you say that my shot is still crap I will kick your ass. )

“Be the best, nothing less”

Hello again lovely blogosphere! There’s been a few days since I’ve last posted on this blog-thingy, but you know how it is when school year starts – you can easily get distracted by literally everything. Or maybe that’s just me.

Yes, my second year of college officially started and I’m officially not a freshman anymore (should I say “Yei”?). But honestly I’m not so sure if I’m happy or not… I do like it there, I like the school and I like the people but I’m kinda sick of worrying all the time and lets say that last year’s experience could have been a whole lot better. It was a hard year. As a matter of fact… it sucked. But I still loved it. Am I making any sense?

Anyways, second year means that I only have 4 semesters left – and then what? Have you ever got to this existentialist question? A while ago I read a sentence that said “Be the best, nothing less“. I used to go by that but is also true that the higher you dream, the bigger the fall. And when you lift your standards to that level… well lets say it will hurt a hell lot more when you fail! I’ve been there. I’ve worked to be on top. I’ve been on top. And I also have failed. And I don’t want to fail anymore, but I know I will eventually because that’s just how life is – sometimes you’re hot, sometimes you’re not!

Well, I’m sorry for the philosophical post – I come up with this existentialist issues all the time, why keep them all to myself? I guess it’s just hard to be a young artist with an agitated brain…

Still catching reflections

Hello again, lovely blogosphere. If you read one of my last posts you might know that I got a little obsessed with “catching reflections” (if you don’t, I just told you anyways!). A couple days ago I was playing around with my guitar trying some new compositions, and I notice that the light coming from my lamp was reflected on it. I had to try to fulfill my wish again, since the image on the guitar was pretty cool.

I picked up my camera and it was kinda hard to catch it properly, so I decided to play with light as well trying to create something interesting. I grabbed a couple lamps and made a few experiences – it somehow reminded me of painting or something as I was moving the guitar and the light to create what I was looking for. That photo was one of many tries, and the light and color turned out to be something different! …And that’s what I do on my lonely saturday nights… just kidding! But I’m really enjoying the whole reflections thing, I may work on a project related to it if have the time!

And I know it’s far from being a great photo but it was an experiment. Art is made of experiences. Life is made of experiences. We just have to make it count, right?

The (Dis)Liking List

Last year, when I started college, my first project was to built a “graphic dairy” – like actually making a book not only drawing in it. Coll right? I thought so, until I found out about one of the teacher’s requests: “you have to write what you like and what you don’t like on the first page”. My immediate thought was “am I in 1st grade or something?” But I was decided to make it sound cool – at least I was hoping so.

Since I started this personal blog thing and I’m kinda putting myself out there at the blogosphere, I thought I’d share some of the list I came up with so you can get to know a little more of me… So… Yeah…

LIKES. Originality. (lots of) Music. Free will. Chocolate. Going to the beach in Winter time. Pearls. Expressing myself. Orchids. Headphones. Popcorn. Liking what everybody doesn’t (Please don’t call me hipster, I swear I’m not!). Pasta. The smell after rain. Dancing. Photography. Going to Pizza Hut and order 20 slices of garlic bread. Talking (until someone shuts me up, otherwise I wont stop). Grandma’s coffee. Cinema. BIG MAC! Love. Family. Private jokes. Reddish lipstick. Art. Singing in the shower. Making jewelry. Conversations at night (and all night long…). Laughing until it hurts. People. Poetry. Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing I still have a couple hours to sleep. Extremes. Vinyl records. Fashion (as an art form). Dark humor. Stuff I can’t explain. Memories. Watching House MD at night, tucked in a blanket with my friends while drinking hot coffee. Listening to Ricardo when he’s singing. Playing guitar. Tea. Spontaneity. Singing until people yell for us to stop. Making a fool of myself and have people loving me for that . Hotel’s breakfast. Disney. Books. Eating Chocapic at night and at other people’s houses (it tastes better when it’s for free!). Candles. Writing. Having “soul mates” who help figuring out what I like. Travel. Museums. Going to Spain just to eat tapas. Gourmet and vegetarian food (’cause I’m classy like that). Creating new things. Old objects with history. Concerts. Vintage. Maria cookies (I actually made a song for it). Taking deep breaths. Traveling in my thoughts. Being myself even though I hate it sometimes (…)

DISLIKES. Monotony. Bees. Things that prick. Doubts. Going outside when it’s raining and getting everything wet. Getting out of the shower when it’s cold. Being quiet. When I can’t remember something that’s at the tip of my tongue. Hypocrisy. The word Púcaro (it’s a portuguese word and it sounds really funny). When the milk is over and I have to go open a new package. Being just like everyone else. When I turn my IPod on and it runs out of battery in 2 seconds (worst thing ever). People who can’t talk face-to-face, only virtually. When I want something so bad and it doesn’t happen. Lack of personality. Season finale of my favorite series. Depressing restaurants. Taking the dishes out of the washing machine. Straws that don’t have flexible tips. When the sneeze doesn’t come out. Cliches. Stereotypes. Misleading publicity. When I’m in a hurry and everything is going wrong. Waiting lines. Stuff that costs 5,99€ (why can’t you just say 6€?!). When I make mistakes and people say “I told you so” or “that was an eye-opening”. Misunderstandings. Carrots. When people think Portugal is the same as Spain. Suspects. Looking for the keys for 10min and finding them on the door lock. When people who haven’t seen me for a while say “You’re so tall”, even though I’m really short (…)

So, that was just a tiny bit of my huge list! And I challenge you to do the same on your blog (if you have one), I would love to read yours!

(And yes, I did draw those really stupid “thumbs up/down” hands, just because I’m weird like that.)